Internet Incapacitated

I remember my first experience with the internet. I think I was in Fourth Grade, at a very small school named Edison Elementary. It didn't mean much to me then, if anything. I didn't understand what it was, why it existed, and I especially didn't see it reaching this kind of milestone back in that day.

With the emergence of Facebook, Twitter, and other sites in that related category, movements and protests and causes have become as simple as clicking a mouse button, if not easier. People can spread their message, gain supporters, submit and receive donations, and receive national media attention, all while looking up their high school girlfriend.

What amazes me most is the fact that a mere website that even my Grandparents use, can help to change the course of history for an entire nation. Iran may never be the same after seeing protest after protest after protest, with support spreading worldwide via social networking sites, including messages and groups and profile photos all depicting a nations' cry for change. With the existence of these sites, their cry can be answered with a unified shout from the world over. Facebook is the world's largest town hall meeting.

Opportunity Ahead

Take this key..

and learn from me..

the things you may need..

to take life at your lead..

Decisions, decisions.

I'm closing in on a decision of what I want to do with my life at the moment. I'm leaning towards moving back to Columbus and getting an apartment there. I also really want to go back to school there, and quite possibly even go back to CCAD.

I know they are really an expensive school but I didn't hate it as much as I led on, and I miss how much I was challenged there. I don't really know what's going on with me right now, or what was going through my head when I attended CCAD the last time and left.

As of right now, I don't feel like I have my own life. I feel like I'm just alive, and that I'm not living.

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Hearts, they break

and people, they change

one thing that should

just stay the same

is your outlook on life

and the course that it takes.

Prioritize this,

Just recently I turned 21. I'm not a big drinker, well I'm actually not a drinker at all so it wasn't a HUGE birthday for me. One thing that turning 21 has done for me though, is made me start thinking more about my future and what I want to do as apposed to what I'm doing. I have a job, so I realize I'm in a better position than a lot of people are right now, but I wouldn't consider myself content.

I would have no problem quitting my job and jetting off in a new direction. The only thing is, I don't quite know what direction to go. I could finish school in Fremont at Terra, or I could move back to Columbus and finish school there, find a job and get an apartment. One thing I am sure of, is that where ever I go, it will be for Photography. I could simply pack my bags and hit the road, taking photos every minute of everyday and every mile. I would write and blog about my experiences, combining words with pictures on some occasions.

I also want to step up my writing. Blogging is becoming more and more popular, and everybody does it whether it be for personal use or some even have a large fan base of readers and commentators.

I still want to do my clothing line. It's something that is always in the back of my mind and I really think it's worth putting some time and energy into. My idea is more than just clothes, but a cause for people to follow their passions and do what they love, because there's two kinds of living.

I have a lot of prioritizing to do.

Scene One, Act One

I'm making a scene, so walk this with me

Reveal to me the destination,

that this twisted uphill pathway leads.

Replace the tracks and treads of the mainstream

As I keep from stumbling for those who hinder us,

using their bait as stepping stones and bridges

to walk high above the raging river.

And when the waters are calmed may they see your reflection

in this desire fueled by faith and endurance.

We walk with concentrated visions

and hearts like open books,

a story after your own, with alternate endings

and admissions of guilt,

you stand beside us with the turning of every page.

Unyielding

What lies before me is unknown to myself

But still I forge ahead

Without knowledge but without fear

And with every step, my vision is strengthened

and yet how I perceive what is seen

is dependent on where my heart lies

At this place and time.

Sometimes letting go is the answer...

When fall comes 'round,

all the leaves drop from their limbs

but even if a single one can manage

to withstand the harsh winter winds

and spring returns and brings back life

that leaf that held on so dearly to it's place

will no longer fit in

and just be a waste

Even the good things are contagious.

Most days when I come into work, I'm a little grouchy. I let grumpy people make me even more grumpy when I have to deal with them. This morning when I woke up, I decided to take a different approach, and try my hardest to love every moment of everyday.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Since I've been gone.

So it has been awhile since I posted a self portrait. This one is far from professional, but it fits with the modern day cyber culture. Since the appearance of myspace and facebook, the cell phone camera in the mirror portrait is a guarantee.

It's funny how it rained all day.

It's funny how everybody varies in how they deal with a broken heart. Most listen to happy, upbeat music. This type of music has almost no effect on me when I'm that down, and I really go for softer, sadder music and songs. I like my music to match my mood, rather than have it change my mood.

In times like these, my work ethic increases as a way of coping. I cover the feeling by becoming more outgoing and unintentionally hiding the fact that I'm feeling down. As I've gotten older, and it's been a long long time since I've felt this way, these tendencies I had don't seem as predominant, and I think I'm coping in a more mature and adult manner.

Or maybe this time it's to the point where it has numbed me beyond realization.

Swine flu who?

I think this may be my first time living during a "pandemic". The swine flu is getting worse and more threatening everyday, they tell us. Its not a threat here yet, hopefully it stays that way.

If people start becoming zombies, I'm taking my left 4 dead skills on the road to mexico city.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Going through idea after idea, thought after thought, and reference after reference, I have finally decided on my next design for a T-shirt. Quill!

Not Even Close

Since the day I got my car, I always dreamed on when it would be a street car but never actually expected it to get this far. The more I change though, the more I want to do. It's an addiction and I'm not even looking for a cure.

Banning Black

On my drive home from work a couple of days ago, I heard on the radio that the EPA or another similiar organization wants to ban black cars. Their reasons being that in the summer time, black cars attract more heat and require more energy to cool it off, resulting in more pollution being given off by that car.

In that case, shouldn't white cars be banned for colder areas, seeing as they take more energy to warm up? Sometimes...

Back to Bay Point

Today was my first day back to work at Bay Point. At this stage, all I have to say is that it's going to be a long summer. The way things are going around there, it would seem that I'm lucky I even get to come back. Two people I worked with last year have already been let go, and another one will be soon due to financial problems.

I think Bay Point has been ruined. The landscape was destroyed to put in houses that nobody can afford, so now it's just a bunch of empty lots with a generic subdivision-like street running through them. A potentially one-of-a-kind resort is now a ghost town.

Our Spot

This is my favorite place to be.

70.365

So I've gotten way off track with my "one photo per day" quota. I'm still going to continue taking self portraits and posting them, I just may miss a day or two every now and then.

I'm finally getting back into the scene. I have 3 or 4 shows coming up that I am shooting, and another band added to my list for promo photos. I don't even care if I don't make a lot of money off of it, it's photography.

The weather recently has been really warm, and if you set aside the fact that it rained cats and dogs, it was beautiful out. Of course, it has to get cold again though. Oy.

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So I've recently learned that 18" rims are not worth the look it adds to your car. Ever since I got a set of 18" rims with low profile tires, they have been nothing but trouble. From nails to potholes, and bad seals to zero traction in the snow, I'm calling it quits and going back to the old reliable stock tires.

I'm still in love with my new car stereo though. I can't wait to get my windows tinted and put a lowering kit on her. I just can't stop putting money into my car.

The weather is getting a lot better outside. It has been warm enough this past week to wear flip flops and shorts, which I did. The thunderstorms tonight made it really feel like summer is getting closer.

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I'm guilty of missing a few days of my photojournal. It's not because I've been too lazy or that I forgot, I've just finally had a lot of stuff to do with shooting bands and hanging out with friends. It feels good to actually be busy, and do photographer things.

Anyway, this is what happens when your flash is too bright.

Later on I will post some of the best promos shots I did this past week.

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I'm so excited to get my new car stereo installed tomorrow! I feel like I have to make the above face with my new hair cut.

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It snowed once again today, just about half an inch, but it was still snow. I'm more than ready for spring. Either way, I get my new car stereo installed on Wednesday, and I cannot wait. Despite the cold, I wandered outside with my camera today and found a nice set of trees in a field.

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My hair is gone!

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I was really tired. I've been getting up earlier to get myself used to it, and to take Alyssa to school.

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The last two days have been like a summer teaser, and today it's back to snow. I just want it to be nice so I can shoot pictures without gloves on.

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Today and Yesterday were really warm compared to the past few weeks. It feels like an early spring night, and there's supposed to be thunderstorms later on in the night. I love storms, probably because it's usually associated with summer. I can handle most things the weather throws at me, except for wind. It creeps me out.

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I'm looking forward to getting my new car stereo installed next week. I need to start eBaying so I don't feel so bad about spending the money.

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Sometimes I worry about my future. I know what I want to do, and I know who I want to spend it with, but my only concern is money, keeping a job, and having a place to live. I may have to cut back on my most expensive hobby: my car.

54.365

Exercising today wore me out. I need to do it more often.

53.365

I have a condition in my spine that resulted in my left foot being smaller and less responsive than my right foot. It's quite interesting.

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I enjoy sleeping. I don't know why I can stay up late so easily, but it's torture getting up early.

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When I was little I had an obsession with this book called Peef the Christmas Bear. For Christmas one year, my Mom made me a replica of the bear that was in the book. It was my favorite present for years, and I still keep it in my room.

More snow tonight, I'm not happy about it.

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50 Pictures! I wasn't sure I'd still be committed to this project at this point, but it's past the point of no return. I really need to find a band to shoot some promos for, or a show to go to so I see how this new camera does compared to the old one.

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I'm just glad that today is over. Not saying it was a bad day, it just ended on a bad note.

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The best of things are seen while looking up.

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I finally got a haircut. It has been way overdue.

I got a radio for my room yesterday, and I just love having it in the background. It's been years since I last had a radio playing in my room, and since the cd player in my car has been broken, I've gotten hooked on some of the stations I can actually pick up. So now I can pick up on everything I miss out on when I'm not in my car.

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Such a great ending to a long, long week. My car is back together, I had a great Valentine's Day, and tomorrow is the beginning of a new week.

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Happy Valentine's Day!

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This Valentine's Day is going to be a good one...

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I wear a lot of hats. It's always been that way, I probably get it from my Dad.

This has been a long week, and I'm glad tomorrow is Friday. I blew two tires when I hit a pothole on the highway the other day, and a windstorm last night made a mess of my house and the yard. But on a positive note, I found a drafter's table for sale at Goodwill, and this Valentine's Day is surely going to be amazing.

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This week has lived up to it's expectations. R.I.P. Cocoa.

41.365

Today I got a pair of running shoes, and I can't wait to start using them. I've never successfully been able to keep up with exercise, but I have a good feeling this time. Alyssa will be doing it with me, and we'll keep each other motivated.

40.365

Tomorrow will be the first time I've seen Alyssa since Wednesday, and I'm really excited. We also get to babysit my cousins baby, Aidan, and then have pizza and chill when they come to pick him up.

Another plus about tomorrow, it's Tuesday. Tuesday is 35 cent wing night at Fricker's, which I try to never miss out on.

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I'm super excited that Alyssa is coming home tomorrow night. Unfortunately some other things have come up today, and this is going to be an incredibly long week.

38.365

So the other day I got my first Urban Outfitters catalog. And as much as I wish I could afford their clothes, I found something more in their magazine. It gave me some what of a spark of inspiration towards portrait and modeling photography. I think one of my biggest downfalls is that I'm too critical of my own photos. Some of the shots inside the catalog got me thinking in a new direction.

I don't quite know how to explain my thoughts, but a photo by itself is not near as interesting as a group of photos telling a story, and a photograph without a purpose or a story behind it is almost meaningless.

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This year, I am determined to lose weight. I don't really want to lose a lot, I just want to be in shape, and fit.

36.365

Today was just an incredibly lazy day. There's not really anything to speak of.

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I'm really going to miss my girlfriend while she's on her cruise. I'll have a lot of free time.

Some Key Pictures

34.365

I thank God everyday that I was able to finally afford this camera. I have desired owning one ever since I knew such a machine existed.

There are many things that I thank God for. Alyssa, my family, my friends, my life, my vision, and the list goes on and on. Some days I may lose focus of what I have, and just how lucky that makes me. Each and every day I am alive is a reason to be thankful.

Some of the greatest feelings to me are also the simplest of luxuries. Holding a camera in my hand, hearing the shutter snap, grasping my girlfriends hand in mine, watching football with my Dad, and driving with no real end point. I could go on for days.

Riverside part...4?

So I'm sitting in a room at Riverside Hospital for the 4th time in the last 4 years. It almost feels like a second or third home at this point. This time around my Grandma June is just having some tests done on her heart, so it's nothing too serious. The entire time I've been here, all I can really think about is my love on ABC, Scrubs.

It snowed last night, and even though there wasn't any accumulation, it was just amazing at how hard it was snowing. I love the snow, but I've had my fair share of it this winter. At least there's only 6 more weeks until spring, or so the groundhog told us, and I'm really looking forward to washing my car and fixing up some nagging issues. I really want to go racing at the track again, I've only gotten to race once this winter, and for fun I tried to break the 100mph barrier.

Recently I have re-discovered one of my childhood obsessions. I stumbled across my stash of old Pokemon games for my gameboy, and I've been toying around with them for fun. I'm not as stuck on them as I am to my current gaming addiction, which is Left 4 Dead. It just doesn't seem to get old.

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I just love coming home at night and sitting back and watching a movie, sitting on the computer, or playing xbox. Relaxing feels a lot better the more you do throughout the day.

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My hands are a very important part of all my work, alongside my eyes. Without my hands I wouldn't be able to press the shutter release on my camera, adjust the focus, angle, or do hardly anything when it came to drawing.

My love for driving would be useless without my hands, and I just wouldn't feel the same about writing. Blogging would be a much more difficult task, texting on a cell phone, playing my xbox, all of the above. I rarely ever just stop and think on how much my life would be different with one little piece missing.

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I have recently become a fan of Simon Pegg and Nick Frost.

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I have always been amazed at how ridiculous my hair can look in the morning. Sometimes I think that my hair even looks longer when I wake up than what I thought it was. It also goes in directions and twists and turns that I could never get it to do if my life depended on it.

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This photo is appropriate, seeing as without my eyes, there would be no photography for me. I am definitely ready for spring to come, but it's only January...

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Today I realized just how great it is to be able to watch T.V. on the internet.

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I was going to get a hair cut, but I tried straightening it today and I think I'll grow it out a little bit more. I like the way it looks.

In the background is the start of my miniature gallery. I nailed about 9 holes in the wall for the 4 photos. I need to practice, or just take my time.