Prioritize this,

Just recently I turned 21. I'm not a big drinker, well I'm actually not a drinker at all so it wasn't a HUGE birthday for me. One thing that turning 21 has done for me though, is made me start thinking more about my future and what I want to do as apposed to what I'm doing. I have a job, so I realize I'm in a better position than a lot of people are right now, but I wouldn't consider myself content.

I would have no problem quitting my job and jetting off in a new direction. The only thing is, I don't quite know what direction to go. I could finish school in Fremont at Terra, or I could move back to Columbus and finish school there, find a job and get an apartment. One thing I am sure of, is that where ever I go, it will be for Photography. I could simply pack my bags and hit the road, taking photos every minute of everyday and every mile. I would write and blog about my experiences, combining words with pictures on some occasions.

I also want to step up my writing. Blogging is becoming more and more popular, and everybody does it whether it be for personal use or some even have a large fan base of readers and commentators.

I still want to do my clothing line. It's something that is always in the back of my mind and I really think it's worth putting some time and energy into. My idea is more than just clothes, but a cause for people to follow their passions and do what they love, because there's two kinds of living.

I have a lot of prioritizing to do.

Scene One, Act One

I'm making a scene, so walk this with me

Reveal to me the destination,

that this twisted uphill pathway leads.

Replace the tracks and treads of the mainstream

As I keep from stumbling for those who hinder us,

using their bait as stepping stones and bridges

to walk high above the raging river.

And when the waters are calmed may they see your reflection

in this desire fueled by faith and endurance.

We walk with concentrated visions

and hearts like open books,

a story after your own, with alternate endings

and admissions of guilt,

you stand beside us with the turning of every page.

Unyielding

What lies before me is unknown to myself

But still I forge ahead

Without knowledge but without fear

And with every step, my vision is strengthened

and yet how I perceive what is seen

is dependent on where my heart lies

At this place and time.

Sometimes letting go is the answer...

When fall comes 'round,

all the leaves drop from their limbs

but even if a single one can manage

to withstand the harsh winter winds

and spring returns and brings back life

that leaf that held on so dearly to it's place

will no longer fit in

and just be a waste

Even the good things are contagious.

Most days when I come into work, I'm a little grouchy. I let grumpy people make me even more grumpy when I have to deal with them. This morning when I woke up, I decided to take a different approach, and try my hardest to love every moment of everyday.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Since I've been gone.

So it has been awhile since I posted a self portrait. This one is far from professional, but it fits with the modern day cyber culture. Since the appearance of myspace and facebook, the cell phone camera in the mirror portrait is a guarantee.

It's funny how it rained all day.

It's funny how everybody varies in how they deal with a broken heart. Most listen to happy, upbeat music. This type of music has almost no effect on me when I'm that down, and I really go for softer, sadder music and songs. I like my music to match my mood, rather than have it change my mood.

In times like these, my work ethic increases as a way of coping. I cover the feeling by becoming more outgoing and unintentionally hiding the fact that I'm feeling down. As I've gotten older, and it's been a long long time since I've felt this way, these tendencies I had don't seem as predominant, and I think I'm coping in a more mature and adult manner.

Or maybe this time it's to the point where it has numbed me beyond realization.